Thursday, February 7, 2008

Fear


What is holding you back from achieving your full potential? Is fear holding you captive so that you are not able to experience true joy in your life? Why is the fear so intense in certain situations? How can we release the hold of fear in our lives?

The Law of Fear states that "fear separates," and "we move away from things we fear." It can be difficult to work with people that are experiencing fear and displaying emotions such as anger, frustration,and impatience but if you learn to look beyond the emotion, many times the emotion is a reflection of fear that is holding them captive in their hearts. When someone displays anger and unhappiness, ask the question, what fear are they holding onto? This will help you to understand that they are expressing their own fear and is not a personal reflection of you. Learn to send them compassionate love and gratitude in teaching you how fear can damage a person's happiness in life.

I personally hold onto fear in many avenues in my life and struggle to release this fear at times. Fear is an emotion that can produce a feeling of anxiety in anticipation of a bad outcome. What are the triggers that cause fear in your life? Fear can result from outcomes from past events. My history of breast cancer with all the treatments, side effects, and intense feelings during this time period still brings fear in anticipation of a doctor's visit, a mammogram screening, or even the monthly self exams. This causes me to want to avoid or "separate" myself from the exams or doctor visits that need to occur to remain healthy. Where do these feelings of fear come from and what can we do to get beyond the debilitating effects and insecurities that result from the fear? Know that you are not alone. Everyone is touched with fear at some point in their life; whether it is related to fear of an illness, fear of death, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of the past or future, fear of trusting someone, fear of embaressment or being judged, fear of not having control, or fear of the unknown. Fear can instill a child-like response or regression. The emotions that result from fear can range from frustration, anger, sadness, and depression.

To be able to get beyond the debilitating effects of fear, one must recognize the different triggers that bring on the emotions and feelings of fear. Acknowlege the fear, understand the triggers, and then work on releasing the fear. To get beyond the fear and release the anxiety, focus on the "now." Know that the past is past; learn the lessons from the past. Don't worry about the future; focus on the "now" and what you can do now to feel better, happier and less fearful. My example of fear from my past history of breast cancer seems obvious when considering the potential of the cancer returning. What can I do to release this fear to the universe and get beyond this trigger of fear? One of the biggest things I have found helpful in releasing this is focusing on being in the "now." I practice releasing the past, not worrying about the future, but focusing on the "now" and on being healthy. I concentrate on taking care of my self the best I can at the moment and keep moving forward with the continual focus of self-care. Yes, there are certainly days that I do not eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, etc. but holding onto the motivation of self-care and re-focusing on this daily helps. This moves me beyond avoiding or "separating" myself from the necessary screenings (self-exams, mammogram, physician visits) to maintain my health.

An additional method I have found helpful in releasing the emotions of fear is through journaling. Consider having a journal specifically titled "Fears" and use this journal on the days or the times that you are experiencing the emotion of fear. This will help you identify the common triggers that bring on the fear in your life. What are the similar situations that bring on the fear? What are the emotions associated with the fear? Are they the same feelings each time? Identify what the fear is related to such as fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of death, etc. Can you identify what the fear is related to? If not, continue to journal until you are able to go deeper into yourself to identify the feelings. After identifying the triggers that bring on the fear, start focusing on the present time. Release the past, learn from the lessons of the past, and don't worry about the future; focus on the positive of "now."

Another helpful technique to release fear is to envision positive outcomes. Learn to set your intentions in a positive and specific manner. For example, instead of stating your intention "I hope I'm able to remain healthy and the cancer does not return," state it with a confirmed positive intention such as "I am healthy and will remain healthy." Another example of re-phrasing intentions in a more positive way is "I hope or will try to be successful in my upcoming presention," change it to "My presentation will be outstanding, motivating, and successful." If you practice these small differences in setting intentions, you can release the attachment to the fear of outcomes. You can also confide in a trusted friend your feelings as you work through the difficult times of fear. Sometimes just having someone listen to your fears helps you to look at things in a different perspective. Practice setting positive intentions with your friend. Your friend can point out potential re-phrasing that may need to occur to make your intentions more positive and powerful.

An additional approach to decrease fear is to allow time to take some slow deep breaths and remember a particular location or experience that brings you back to the feeling of joy, happiness, and comfort. This place for me is the ocean. There is something about the feel of the ocean that brings me much comfort and peace. It soothes my soul, connects me to my God and the feeling that I am not alone; God will always be there for me. Even if you cannot visit the ocean, you can still take a few minutes to close your eyes, take some deep breaths and visualize the place that can bring these feelings back to you. This small amount of time can help shift your negative thoughts into positive energy and free yourself from the feelings of fear. Of course, if you can visit the special place that brings these positive feelings to you, then do it and hold onto these feelings when you return to difficult situations.

Once you are able to work through the fear, the feelings can be exhilarating to know that you have accomplished the satisfaction of not letting fear be captive over you. You are more powerful than fear, you have a choice of letting fear be captive over you and "separating" you from living your full potential. Open your eyes to the person that you can become by releasing fear to the universe and embracing challenges with enthusiasm and excitement for positive outcomes.

We could all learn lessons from watching little puppies play. They play with abandon and happiness. Watching them brings laughter and joy. The puppies don't worry about how they might look as they tumble and live in the moment. We certainly can take lessons from this by learning to live life with less self-consciousness and fear and to just go for it with fun, joy, and laughter.