What words of encouragement can I provide someone that has just heart the diagnosis of breast cancer? The words come as a shock. The word cancer alone can invoke fear. There is fear of the unknown, fear of illness, fear of death. You can't even imagine what it all means at the time. You are numb and uncomprehending. Did you really hear what was said? This cannot be true. I was feeling pretty good, exercising, eating well, but stressed with work and family situation. Then the other word sinks in, breast. Breast cancer, wow the two words together sounds formidable. Breast, breasts indicates something with sexuality to most. If you were ever at all insecure about your sexuality related to your looks and your breasts, this also deals a blow to your ego.
After hearing the words, the realization comes that you are not dreaming. You were just told you have breast cancer and now you now without a shadow of doubt your life will be changing forever. At that moment your life does change forever. You may not understand in what way it will change, but you know it will.
How do you tell your husband, your family, and your friends? Something like this is so personal it is hard to relay to people that your whole world has changed in an instant. You try to be strong, but as you say the words to others, it sounds like it is coming from someone else, in the distance. Is there an echo? Who is saying those words, " I have been diagnosed with breast cancer."? Yes, you are saying them, still not sure what it all means and what all the treatment will be yet.
First you say, I don't have time for this to happen, I'm involved with many projects, deadlines, and important items at work. You realize later how funny those words are especially when you are fighting for your life. The projects, deadlines, and whatever else was happening at the time start to seem insignificant. You go through the motions of hand off to others the work that you thought defined you as a person. You worked hard to advance in your career, but now what was it all worth? The answers do not come right away.
Your co-workers, friends, and family try to provide encouraging words, but many do not know exactly what to say. You are sad that you have caused them to be uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. You also know you are blessed that they are there and still wonder if your relationships will also change as you start your new path in life. The conversations are not as personal as they could be, you try not to reflect the fear you hold in your heart right now. How could you ever display how huge the fear is, in fact you try to deny the fear in yourself as long as possible.
The treatment involved starts to begin. There is no clear understanding about what all the treatment means, what will happen to your body, and what will happen to your mind and spirituality. At first, you go through the motions, listening to treatment options, deciding on treatment options, and planning the times for the treatment. Soon, you want to keep moving forward with the treatments and start even planning the next one, knowing that you are moving closer to healing and a cure. When a treatment is delayed related to labs or other indicators that prevent you from continuing with the original timeline, you actually become disappointed in the delay. This only prolongs the moment when you are told you have finished all the treatment, whether it is surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation. As you go through treatment you will see many other people going through different phases of their treatment and you will automatically develop a connection with them whether you meet them personally or not. The look in each of their eyes tells all. It is a knowing look that only someone that is going through the same thing can feel. One small glance and you feel like you have known that person all their lives. You are connecting at a different dimension, intuitively and as one.
The treatment may just be beginning, but know that you are not alone. There is a guiding Spirit that knows you better than you know yourself. The process will help you to know yourself in a new way. Life will be looked at differently and more valued than you can ever imagine. Know that this is actually a gift that will enable you to enjoy life to its fullest and develop compassion for others in a different dimension then this world. I hope that by hearing my story we can go through this journey together as one and knowing that this experience will transport you to a pathway to joy.
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