Self-love

Are you able to say "I love myself?" Are you able to say "I like myself?" Are you going through the motions of life with work and family but holding onto the feelings of self hatred? How do you start feeling better about yourself?

This discussion will focus on the opportunity to begin feeling better about whom you are as a person. There are "little things" that can create a hugh difference in how you feel about yourself. Practicing these concepts with concentration, focus and surrender will help you to know the power of you.

What is it you do not like about yourself? Is there a thing from the past that haunts you in the present or that you cannot let go? Why are you holding onto the situations of the past? What lessons can you learn from the past and bring into current time? Does the past bring up fear, guilt, anxiety that has resulted in shame and self hatred now? Understanding where some of the self hatred comes from is the first step in understanding how to let go of the emotions of self hatred.

First, you may want to write down what it is about you that you do not like as a person. Even if there are things you don't understand and are not sure of why there are these feelings, it's OK. Just give yourself 5 minutes to write whatever it is that is creating the feelings of self hatred. Then put the journal and/or paper down and start a new page. On this page write the things you like about yourself. You may struggle with this, but each day as you practice some of the concepts try to also write down positive things about yourself.

There are simple things to start with that can help you see how easy it is to put yourself down. How many times have you received a compliment from someone whether it is about your hair, outfit, or something else you have done and you immediately downgrade the compliment? For instance, when someone compliments your outfit, you might say, "oh this old thing has been hanging in my closet for a long time" or "It's the only thing in my closet that fits me now, because I'm getting too fat." Instead of immediately coming back with some retort to the compliment, try just saying "thank you." You will notice at first, that this is not so easy to do, but as you practice and become more aware it will become easier. Even if you say something negative, you will begin seeing and recognizing the situations more and has hard as it might be, be persistent in trying to simply say "thank you." Try catching yourself making the negative comments about yourself. If you do say something negative, shake it off and remember next time to just say "thank you." Persistence is the key.

Another "little thing" to start working on is to start saying "I like myself." Force yourself to say this phrase no matter how hard it may be. Plan a time during the day to focus on saying this phrase. It may only take 5 minutes 3-4 times a day but really concentrate on saying the phrase over and over. You may want to start by writing the phrase and then repeating it back out loud verbally. Do this for several days or weeks until the phrase becomes less fearful and is easier to write and say. You can also start putting this phrase on a post it note and post it on your mirror at home, in your care, or a place at work that is visible to you. After this phrase becomes more natural, start looking in the mirror at yourself and repeating this phrase while looking at yourself. It's amazing how this "little thing" can enhance the experience. This may take a much longer time but be patient with yourself and surrender the feelings of inadequacy or any other negative feelings. Journaling your experience and emotions can help during this time period. Sometimes just writing down and expressing yourself can result in a releasing feeling.

The next step is to start saying "I love myself." Repeat the same sequence as noted above. As you become more aware of your feelings and emotions during these exercises, appreciate the strength and courage it took to love the uniqueness of you. There are many people in this world that have a negative outlook about their self and just go on living life in a cloud. This is the time to move through the cloud and create a life of happiness and opportunity by learning to surrender the old feelings of self hatred and focus on learning how to care for oneself with the first step of self love.